My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Randomize
