i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Randomize