Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
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