It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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