pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
organizing the empties. That sober.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
