Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize