walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
