why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
