just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
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