Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
