It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Randomize