And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
