So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
