Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
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