I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize