How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
