Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Little spoons don't ask big questions
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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