going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
