so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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