Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
we're so committed to being not committed
Randomize