Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
