My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize
