he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Randomize