he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
