dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
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