Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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