Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Randomize