If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I can't put those talents on a resume
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
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