me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
