Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I'm passing your future prison.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Randomize
