he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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