I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
