it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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