She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
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