all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I think people are normalizing furries
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
