there's paper in my vomit.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Randomize
