i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
