In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
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