dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize
