I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Randomize
