and you said cock pushups were impossible
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
