I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Randomize
