I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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