sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
