There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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