i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Randomize
