Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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