I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
