my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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