I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Randomize
