okay pat passed out under dana's car
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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