in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
