i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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