You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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