How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
