I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Ambien. No doubt about it.
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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