I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize
