drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
