What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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