My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
How external is "for external use only"?
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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