I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Randomize
