I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
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