Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Randomize
