just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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