So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Houston, we have a squirter
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
