I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Randomize
