i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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