that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Randomize
