at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
