Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Randomize