I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Randomize
