I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
