beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Randomize
